Okay, like they say, better late than never, right? I’m a bit behind on loving myself but i haven’t yet given up so it’s not like I’ve failed per se. Plus I never said they’d be twenty one days in a row, right?

One of the biggest things I’m struggling with is that I have to start to meet myself where I’m at. I have to acknowledge that I’m worth loving exactly the way I exist today. I need to remind myself that this self-betterment is not about reaching a specific destination but rather more of a lifelong learning experience.

I don’t have to be perfect to earn my love or respect. Holding myself to unrealistic standards only serves to discourage me. I have to be honest with myself and start slowly. I have to drive home that I am okay the way I am.

I’m not great at follow-through, as noted above, but I can set small, attainable goals and begin to see things to completion. I guess the first goal is being able to get through this challenge.

Speaking of practice, that’s what today is all about.

One time, one of my many counselors throughout the years explained neurons to me like a hiking path. Your brain is going to autopilot itself onto the easiest path it can find. It doesn’t mean that bushwhacking is impossible and it doesn’t mean that new hiking trails can’t be made. It’s just that it’s going to take work. In some cases, a lot of work.

It’s funny because I’ve heard this and I know it enough to repeat it but I’m always so resistant to changing it. The idea of loving myself, or hell, any fundamental changes to my state of being, kind of scare me. I’m used to what I’m used to and new things are always a bit nerve-inducing.

That said, I also know that resistance is the enemy of progress.
And resistance is a huge barrier for me.

So today is about putting my actions where my mouth (hands) have been since this began. In theory, sure, I’ll commit to trying anything, but what happens when it’s time to take actual action? Today is that day.

Today I will spend some time privately writing about what my life might be like if I were to love myself. What might change? How might I feel?

I’ll report on my findings next post.