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Tag: recovery

  • A Genuinely Authentic Gift or Curse

    A Genuinely Authentic Gift or Curse

    It took me a long time to find a psychologist I found success with. This isn’t because my previous counselors or therapists or psychologists weren’t skilled in their own ways. I wasn’t skilled at listening. I wasn’t skilled at trying new stuff. I wasn’t skilled at being honest with my issues because my main concern…

  • Duality of self

    Duality of self

    In November I celebrated having three consecutive years away from a debilitating cocaine addiction. I took a cake for this achievement in the very room that saved my life. I heard my friends share the changes they’ve seen in me, the challenges I’ve faced and the inspiration I share with others. Sitting there, I started…

  • We Are Not The Same

    For many years I found myself very concerned with the opinions of others. Some things I could let go, but when it came to things I was passionate about, I was coming at you with a huge hammer to change your mind.One of the bigger triggers for me was the idea that drug addiction is…

  • There’s No Undoing

    Share a lesson you wish you had learned earlier in life. I wasn’t doing it consciously. Truth be told, I think a hell of a lot of us make decisions with huge, lasting implications for our future before we know our ass from our elbow. Sometimes the decision we make is simply not to make…

  • The Danger of Forgetting

    The Danger of Forgetting

    I’ve been reflecting recently about the after effects. Some time after we have set foot on a better path in life, the novelty of the walk itself wears off. Where I was once able to find genuine wonderment in everyday life, I now get a little bit grumpy. It can be very difficult when you…

  • Hardship as Cosmic Discipline

    Hardship as Cosmic Discipline

    I’ve been thinking about grief lately, as mentioned in my previous post. I’ve been thinking about the inevitable experience of loss and how each goodbye plays out differently from the next. Grief isn’t something you can plan, you know? And that’s one of the most difficult parts, I think. It’s different every time, it’s going…

  • Complex PTSD? Not me!

    Complex PTSD? Not me!

    A lot of people I know are anxious people. They spend their time crafting solutions to every possible scenario that could arise. I am not this way. I have never spent much time thinking about the future, really, at all. It isn’t good or bad, per se, for me. It is undefined. I prefer, or…

  • Who, even, am I?

    Who, even, am I?

    I have a hard time understanding what I look like to those around me. This is because my own view of me is clouded by my own negativity and personal hangups. It is imposter syndrome, but applied just to myself any time anyone gives me a compliment. One of my strongest internal narratives since childhood…