exblogger.ca

A collection of personal journaling and other words
by Lindsay Dianne.

  • It’s always been like this. Not exactly like this but there has always been an aspect of this. On one hand I hadn’t anticipated that it would continue beyond the end date. I kind of thought once it was over it would be relief and nothing else. Turns out it is not that way. Old…

  • They’re Not Like Us

    Our family was little. Our family was comprised of just us. I feel the sting of tears and I can hear her voice state clearly,  “don’t be sad, ninzie”. Boy, momma. I sure am trying. You aren’t making it easy on me though. This one is a doozy. I feel so weird with no one…

  • Fatherless Behaviour

    I recently started writing in a journal I was given that offers questions and prompts of reflection. A page asked who I would be without my trauma and pain narrative and caused me to pause for a few minutes. Who WOULD I be without my fatherless behaviour? Sometimes people with abandonment wounds will flutter from…

  • You Must Have Forgotten

    Sometimes as the day begins to wind down I find myself feeling anxious. I realize I am clenching my jaw and it’s almost like my skeleton wants to climb out of my skin. I can’t immediately figure out what’s wrong with me. I’m uncomfortable. Am I forgetting something? Am I late? No, nothing like that.…

  • Love Letters

    All this talk of self love is brutal. I have come to understand the basics behind ideas like, “you have to love yourself before anyone else” in a much different way than I ever have before. On an intellectual level I know that I accept far worse treatment when I lack love for myself. I…

  • Do You Remember? Of Course I Do.

    I have some weird mental block on certain tasks. I know this is an ADHD trait of some kind but there are just some jobs that I “don’t know how to do and don’t care to learn”. Certain things are internally classified as beyond my scope. I am, after all, just a girl at my…

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