Author: Lindsay Dianne

All this talk of self love is brutal. I have come to understand the basics behind ideas like, “you have to love yourself before anyone else” in a much different way than I ever have before. On an intellectual level I know that I accept far worse treatment when I lack love for myself. I…

I have some weird mental block on certain tasks. I know this is an ADHD trait of some kind but there are just some jobs that I “don’t know how to do and don’t care to learn”. Certain things are internally classified as beyond my scope. I am, after all, just a girl at my…

I didn’t go looking. One of the things I naturally notice are patterns of behaviour. I am inattentive in a lot of ways but fascinated if not fixated on the motives behind the things people do. This is a kind of mental puzzle I do throughout the day to keep my mind occupied. I’ve stopped…

Beating me up is the easiest thing ever. I’ve been practicing being unbelievably mean to myself since I  was a child. The default pathway has long been one of deep disdain. This is so incredibly challenging to counteract. It’s especially difficult when people are so forthcoming with their opinions and not so focused on how…

I like information. I like reading. I like having a question and then finding out the answer. I look at a problem with a curious nature and build a hypothesis that I investigate further until I can confirm my suspicions or inform myself on the facts. This is a natural process. I’ve fostered it in…

It’s just been bad luck. I had a fairly heated discussion with someone quite close to me some months ago. We’ve actually had a number of these debates in the months since as well. When trying to explain the factors that weren’t immediately obvious to an outsider I mentioned the mayhem I mentally put myself…

Today is nothing of note. For many years prior to now it’s been something I plan for and around. For half my life it was one of the more significant days of the year. And now it’s just another Monday like the other 50+ we see in a year. They say firsts are the hardest…

The first time I remember seeing a psychologist I think I was 9 or 10. He was a man of medium build with salt and pepper hair. He asked me questions and made me solve puzzles. The only puzzle I remember was a soccer ball. The puzzle was round instead of square and all the…

My daughter closed the trunk of the car today. I didn’t know she was back there and I wasn’t expecting it. It’s a loud trunk to begin with and without expecting or preparing for it my response was comically exaggerated. I jumped out of my skin. I threw my phone. My heart started racing. I…