Author: Lindsay Dianne
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But… Why?
There have been three large grocery bags outside on my patio table for a month. They found their way here from the life I used to lead, placed in my car unmentioned along with the towels I agreed to take. A month ago I opened the first bag and felt my heartrate skyrocket immediately. I…
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Big Big Feelings
I am told I am exceptionally good with words. I am quick, I connect things, I like wordplay. I know I can write. One would expect me to be a good communicator. Often I find myself struggling to feel heard, but more than that, struggling to be understood. It’s become more problematic recently because it…
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The Crumbling
For awhile it was such a privilege to wake up. Addiction nearly stole my life from me. Illness nearly demolished my body before a series of hospitalizations and surgery. I woke up knowing what a gift it was to have a day to spend topside. Until the novelty wore off, I guess. Nothing stays new…
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When You Know It’s Right…
I don’t know how many times I nearly gave up. I crunched the numbers a million times. I filled out a million forms. I had this viewing and that phone call and everything I did fell flat. Everything that looked promising ended in rejection. I started to question if I was on the right path…
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A Genuinely Authentic Gift or Curse
It took me a long time to find a psychologist I found success with. This isn’t because my previous counselors or therapists or psychologists weren’t skilled in their own ways. I wasn’t skilled at listening. I wasn’t skilled at trying new stuff. I wasn’t skilled at being honest with my issues because my main concern…
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The Dog Dogma
On Thanksgiving weekend we added a puppy to our home. I’ve wanted a dog since I was a child. We briefly had one in the home when I was in my late teens but I had to move and he didn’t live very long. The situation was never “right”. At times in my life it…
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Duality of self
In November I celebrated having three consecutive years away from a debilitating cocaine addiction. I took a cake for this achievement in the very room that saved my life. I heard my friends share the changes they’ve seen in me, the challenges I’ve faced and the inspiration I share with others. Sitting there, I started…
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The Gift of Knowing
What is the greatest gift someone could give you? I am a giver. In fact, I like giving so much it makes me question if altruism could possibly be an actual thing because there is such a payoff for me. When I give gifts of my time, my service or other thoughtful gestures there is…
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Feet on ground, facing forward.
It’s funny the way grief shows up. It never really seems to show any regard for my time or my peace and just pops in without any warning. Kind of rude, actually. See, we love to talk about the triumphs and success stories. We love a new beginning or a second chance tale. In our…
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Everything in its Right Place
I’m starting to think about my addiction in a different way than ever before. I’m only a couple of weeks away from three years off cocaine and every day is novel in that I have not ever been in a position to say that. This is the most success I’ve ever seen and, I believe,…
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