Author: Lindsay Dianne

I don’t always publish things when I write them. Sometimes i am particularly motivated on one day and I fire off a number of things I schedule or draft and poke around in later. The last few posts have mostly been those. I worked on them in pieces as I needed to express my experience.…

I have this affliction where words and scenes replay in my mind. This has always been the way it works and I don’t get to pick what stays. Flashback to October when the switch got flipped. On a dime we stopped begging for reconciliation and like magic I “couldn’t ever have a successful relationship being…

People told me I would love being in my thirties. I did not. “you’ll come into your own.” “you’ll lean into who you are.” “you’ll stop caring what people think.” Incorrect, friends. It was a very unpleasant shit show. I wanted to disappear more times than I can count. Some of my best friendships became…

They say it’s important to remain flexible. I often drive my friends and family crazy because I roll so loose with plans. I have always been somewhat like this but as I age I have learned to pivot. Things happen all the time that fly in the face of well-meaning plans. We must go with…

I would never have anticipated landing here. I probably should have. A lot of other people predicted at least part of this outcome. I was asked plenty of times what I thought would transpire and I routinely predicted the best case scenario. I prefer my version to the one we ended up with, for what…

I wanted a new shower curtain but I knew black would make the light too low to enjoy the daily washing experience so I got some lights and a great little speaker on sale. I replaced all my old kitchen towels and cloths and removed another three bags of things we no longer need to…

If I’m not careful and deliberate about my thinking it gets away from me. This morning I was out on the road and without any awareness I began to run the old software. I started running through the ways I fall short and why I am never enough for anyone. I relive the life i…

I’ve written before about being asked what I do for work. I’ve written about how it didn’t necessarily feel accurate to say I don’t work when it’s actually more like I never stop working. It’s been a long time since I held employment in a traditional sense of the word. I had plans and aspirations…

I’m confused. I can never really tell where the end of grace and the beginning of doormat exist. See, people are often heard saying the phrase, “when they show you who they are, believe them”, right? Or, “if they wanted to, they would.” Okay, but at the same time no one is perfect, as we…

The timing isn’t lost on me. “so, this thing happened and it’s completely changed your life. what’s your dream?” I’m a little bit taken aback and I scramble to answer. “well I don’t plan things very well, you know? I’m lost most of the time and I’m not sure how to get where I want…