An ever evolving job title

I’ve written before about being asked what I do for work. I’ve written about how it didn’t necessarily feel accurate to say I don’t work when it’s actually more like I never stop working.

It’s been a long time since I held employment in a traditional sense of the word. I had plans and aspirations of creating things people valued. I had dreams I would monetize what I naturally have to do – create.

I also cooked. I didn’t love it but I did it and usually did it well. I got an associate’s degree because I wanted to use my voice to make changes in the field of social work. Things changed, life happened, we pivot as needed.

The perspective shifted.

I got sick. First mentally, next physically. I got clean from cocaine. I got some clarity of mind. I did not come back to a life I didn’t recognize, but came back to a life and conflict that was all too familiar.

I took a long time to recognize that the only way to be rescued was to become my rescuer.

And my plans to be a financially-viable writer or photographer and leave something behind for the masses to remember me by just shifted.

I create because I create. If I don’t I shall surely perish.

I create because it’s my job to illuminate what the universe reveals to me. I hardly feel I deserve the credit, even if I were to leave something lasting. I am but a vessel through which one experience is illuminated.

And I said this to someone recently. That my job is just to showcase the things that already exist. She chuckled and asked how it pays.

As it turns out, you might be surprised.

When I started taking deliberate steps in the direction of the next right thing I saw doors open and abundance begin. It’s not how I saw it going and it isn’t what I would have chosen, but in trusting the process I have been rewarded.

We want for nothing. We are cared for in divine ways I can’t even explain.

It doesn’t matter that everything I believed was truth was actually fiction. It doesn’t matter that it’s not what I had planned for.

My job here isn’t easy to explain but that’s because it’s wholly unique to most people.

My job here is to show up and shine a spotlight directly on what’s there.

Enjoy the show.