exblogger.ca

A collection of personal journaling and other words
by Lindsay Dianne.

Love Letters

All this talk of self love is brutal. I have come to understand the basics behind ideas like, “you have to love yourself before anyone else” in a much different way than I ever have before. On an intellectual level I know that I accept far worse treatment when I lack love for myself. I…
Do You Remember? Of Course I Do.

I have some weird mental block on certain tasks. I know this is an ADHD trait of some kind but there are just some jobs that I “don’t know how to do and don’t care to learn”. Certain things are internally classified as beyond my scope. I am, after all, just a girl at my…
The Biggest Challenge is to Keep at It Until It’s Not a Challenge Anymore

What is the biggest challenge you will face in the next six months? If you’d have asked me three years ago what my biggest challenge was it would have been living life without cocaine. It wasn’t that I couldn’t picture celebrating without it. It wasn’t that I couldn’t handle the hard times, either. I could…
Seek and Ye Shall Find, Find Too Much and then Stop Seeking

I didn’t go looking. One of the things I naturally notice are patterns of behaviour. I am inattentive in a lot of ways but fascinated if not fixated on the motives behind the things people do. This is a kind of mental puzzle I do throughout the day to keep my mind occupied. I’ve stopped…
But I Don’t Like Her

Beating me up is the easiest thing ever. I’ve been practicing being unbelievably mean to myself since I was a child. The default pathway has long been one of deep disdain. This is so incredibly challenging to counteract. It’s especially difficult when people are so forthcoming with their opinions and not so focused on how…
Tell Me Who Wrote the Book of Love (spoiler: Experience Did)

I like information. I like reading. I like having a question and then finding out the answer. I look at a problem with a curious nature and build a hypothesis that I investigate further until I can confirm my suspicions or inform myself on the facts. This is a natural process. I’ve fostered it in…