I was driving my car, listening to music when I drove passed our old home. That is to say, the land where that home once existed. The house is gone and nothing remains but grass and some uneven earth that used to be the crawlspace. I've driven by it before. I've said my goodbyes to... Continue Reading →

I am sick.I've been sick for at least two weeks. Stomach pain, nausea, vomiting, bathroom stuff.Eating has become something of an adventure because I just don't know what sets me off. Some days all I can stomach is soup and sometimes even that proves to be too much. Coffee is too harsh. Milk products seem... Continue Reading →

I don't usually edit my writing much. I don't erase sentences often or go back into paragraphs. Once in awhile I rearrange stuff but most often what I publish is fairly strictly stream-of-consciousness and I blame Livejournal for that. Actually, it can be traced even further back, before the phenomenon of home internet, when I... Continue Reading →

For seven years, almost to the day, I was a daily rider on the struggle bus. I came to believe that struggling might just be all I was meant to do. I kept digging and digging until the sunshine disappeared and all I could see was dirt and darkness. I deeply yearned for meaning and... Continue Reading →

Something happened to me around the middle of November. After years and years of suffering it was like a switch was flipped in my brain. I kind of feel like, having been through it and now being on the other side, there was nothing that I could have done that could have forced me to... Continue Reading →

It's that time again, everybody! Time for us to cast our votes in our municipal election (this Saturday, if you weren't sure). I think the municipal level of politics is one of the most fun ones and also sadly, mostly ignored by the majority of eligible voters. It almost seems to me like interest in... Continue Reading →

He started trying out new words in a whisper, as though he was shy about getting them wrong. Slowly at first but then faster, he was adding words to his vocabulary. Suddenly he started trying out stuff that was a little more complicated. Today he was confidently chattering away with more words than he's ever... Continue Reading →

I've been avoiding this. Resisting doing the work. I actually sat down and wrote other stuff just to make myself feel better about not doing what I should be doing. What would my life look like if I was living without self-hatred?I don't know for sure, but I imagine that I would be better able... Continue Reading →

Okay, like they say, better late than never, right? I'm a bit behind on loving myself but i haven't yet given up so it's not like I've failed per se. Plus I never said they'd be twenty one days in a row, right? One of the biggest things I'm struggling with is that I have... Continue Reading →

Excuses, excuses. Today is all about challenging our excuses. I have lots of reasons I use to throw roadblocks up for myself. My toolbox is absolutely stuffed full of ways to get around or avoid making an honest effort. Sometimes I think it's easier to live in self-deprecating chaos for no reason other than me... Continue Reading →